“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” Roy E. Disney
How often do you say yes to something that you actually want to say no to? My guess is, very often. Sometimes I catch myself doing it but why is it so difficult just to say NO? I mean It is just two letters N and O, it shouldn’t be that difficult, right? But the reality is, it is something that we all struggle with somehow, particularly with some people in our life; there are just some people that we have difficulties just to say no to.
Do you beat yourself up for keep saying yes to things that you want to say no to, and you promise yourself you will be strong next time and stand by your values and say no. Don’t be so tough on yourself we will find a solution to this problem and when you are done reading this blog you will be standing stronger by your values and you will be able to say NO.
In the next couple of minutes I will go through some of the reasons for why you keep saying yes when you want you say no, and how to handle the situation better than you did last time.
Hey! All I really want for you is to be in CONTROL and not be controlled by others, It is all about improving step by step, day by day and someday you will be there.
Here are 4 reasons for why you have difficult to say no.
Reason no. 1: You are a people pleaser! You might think I’m rough on you now but lets us be honest, you don’t gain anything good by being a people pleaser. It is the ultimate recipe to disaster. All you do is to compromise with whom you are. When you choose to compromise so other people might like you, what you really are saying and showing is that you don’t value your own opinion enough and you sell yourself short. First of all you need to stop people pleasing, and stop chasing people so they would like you. If you really believe that you are an amazing person (I believe you are amazing) then you don’t need to prove yourself to others. Learn to stand by your own values and ask yourself what is important to you and learn to say no.
Reason no. 2: You are afraid of people’s opinion of you! Don’t be afraid of people’s opinion and I will tell you why you shouldn’t. This is probably one of the most discussed topics in personal development. Let me ask you something, would you like to live in a cage and give the keys to somebody else? My guess would be probably NOT! So why do you let people imprison you with their opinion? SET YOURSELF FREE! You don’t belong to somebody and you don’t owe anybody. Let it go because people will always have their opinion and it shouldn’t define who you are!
Reason no. 3: Your values and principle are not strong enough! If you compromise everytime on your values and principles then are not strong enough and they are not part of you. Don’t misunderstand me I want you to win in every aspect of life; but you can’t without having some sort of ground based principles. So here is a little exercise write down some basic principles you want to live by, these principles are going to define whom you are! Winner or loser it is your choice.
Reason no. 4: The person you have difficult to say no to might be a control freak! We all have or know somebody in our life that is all about being in control. These kind of people will respect you more if you say NO! Because you have allowed them to control you for such a long time its, seems normal for them now to say things and do things they want to. But when you stand up for yourself (because you now have written principles) and say no you challenge them and they love it! These kind of people love to be challenged it is their energy fuel! Learn to say no to these people and they will gain a different perspective of you with time and you want to be equal to them not below or above just equal to them. You have to ask yourself if this person is worth your time and energy, because sometimes it can be a big handful to handle these kind of people. Maybe have a conversation with them and let them know what you think and feel about this subject.
By now you should have gained some knowledge and some tools to be able to stand by yourself and say NO! You stand stronger when you start to live by your principles and people will notice and they will respect you for that. You will start to attract the right people in your life and I want you to remember to live your life to the fullest because life is LIMITLESS!